Valentine’s Day is around the corner so it’s only normal that most of us have started to think of gift ideas for our partners.
When it comes to selecting a truly meaningful gift for your partner, some of us make the mistake of choosing something THAT WE would like the other person to have. Oftentimes, we tend to buy a gift that is a reflection of us. We wander, albeit unintentionally: What will this gift say about me? How will this gift present me in a more favourable light ?
I remember in the early days of my relationship with David, on one of the Valentine’s day I got him an expensive watch from Armani because I liked it, it was my taste and I wanted to come across as buying a “great gift”. Retrospectively David would’ve LOVED having any exercise related gifts: running headphones (which I’ve ended up getting), running vests or running pants which would have cost only a fraction of the Armani watch. He appreciated it nonetheless.
Sometimes a great gift is also not about the price but what it means to the person who is receiving it. Meaningful giving should never be about the giver and the gift should be a reflection of them – not a reflection of you.
Are you guilty of this too? Leave a comment in the comments box below.
THE ART OF GIFTING – It takes imagination, forward thinking, and an understanding of the recipient’s personality and taste.
Don’t feel overwhelmed, ask questions.
Communication is key in every relationship. However, some people might be more subtle in expressing their interests and likes. If you are not sure what your partner likes, what are their hobbies? Can you think back to conversations you’ve had that made them really excited? Make a list for later and do your research.
Understanding your partner’s pedigree may be a good place to start.
Bear in mind we constantly evolve as humans, although at the core we remain the same.
In order to understand what gift they would like, you must strive to understand them as a person- their culture, memories, childhood, hobbies, music etc. You should dig deep into what determines your loved one as a person and the values they hold dear as human beings. Also, you should try to always be on top of their current interests and preoccupations.
Do you know about ‘The Five Love Languages‘?
It outlines five ways to express and experience love between romantic partners. – Gary Chapman
“He theorises that people tend to naturally give love in the way that they prefer to receive love, and better communication between couples can be accomplished when one can demonstrate caring to the other person in the love language the recipient understands. An example would be if a husband’s love language is acts of service, he may be confused when he does the laundry for his wife and she doesn’t perceive that as an act of love, viewing it as simply performing household duties, because the love language she comprehends is words of affirmation (verbal affirmation that he loves her). She may try to use what she values, words of affirmation, to express her love to him, which he would not value as much as she does. If she understands his love language and mows the lawn for him, he perceives it in his love language as an act of expressing her love for him; likewise, if he tells her he loves her, she values that as an act of love.”
This is a great mindset to have in your relationship and may play a role in deciding what gifts to get.
SPECIFIC GIFT IDEAS
Now you’ve understood the foundation of gifting, here are a few general gift ideas for your partner this Valentine’s day.
It may be cliche, but the secret here is to buy the type and colour of the flowers that the person loves. Don’t just buy red roses if the love of your life likes blue lilies. Be intentional 🙂
For Valentine’s Day? Isn’t that boring? Wait a minute….Your partner might be studying for an important exam or might be dealing with a tricky work project. Perhaps they just started a new venture? Buy a good book on entrepreneurship or self development (can’t go wrong with that). Showing that you support them on their new journey is truly a romantic gesture and will mean a lot. Here are some of my favourites from Tony Robbins.
BEAUTY, GROOMING OR SPA VOUCHERS
You do not have to know exactly what treatments your second half enjoys to agree that this is a superb idea. Let’s be honest we all need a break from a busy lifestyle, and giving your loved one a chance to relax is a really thoughtful gift. I do not know one person on earth who does not appreciate a good massage. After all, skin is the largest organ of the human body 🙂
There are a lot of products and brands out there that allow you to personalise a gift. A great and well known example is the PANDORA jewelry- selecting chains/charms that mean something to your loved one, and building their own unique bracelet or necklace is very thoughtful.
Another personalised gift option is the “Love book online” where you can create your own personal love story. Here’s a link to the site here.
Sometimes you don’t need a physical gift. Sometimes a gesture can speak a thousand words and be more meaningful than a physical gift. Here are some examples below:
And the most important of them all, time. Time is so valuable and should be spent on people we cherish the most. We are all guilty of being “too busy”, rushing meals, speeding up conversations and working all the time. The recent death of Kobe and Gianna Bryant (R.I.P) shook us all and only reiterated to me that time spent with the people we love is the most valuable gift on earth, because we don’t know when ours will be up.
To end on a positive note, don’t underestimate spending time with each other this Valentine’s Day.